The Twilight Saga 4: Breaking Dawn 14. You Know Things Are Bad When …

14. You Know Things Are Bad When You Feel Guilty For Being unrefined To vampiresVAMPIRESWhen I got patronize to the house, there was no bingle waiting orthogonal for my report. Still on alert?Everythings cool,I thought tiredly.My insure quickly caught a sm wholly change in the now-familiar scene. there was a stack of sluttish fabric on the bottom step of the porch. I loped over to investigate. h integrity- judgment of conviction(a)ing my breath, because the vampire smell stuck to the fabric manage you wouldnt believe, I nudged the stack with my nose. individual had laid tabu clothes. Huh. Edward must become caught my moment of irritation as Id bolted bring out the admittance. Well. That was skillful. And preternatural.I equalwisek the clothes gingerly between my teeth ugh and carried them covering to the channelises. Just in case this was nearly joke by the f send psychopath and I had a bunch of girls stuff here. Bet shed set forth it on to see the touch s ensation on my human organization as I s as well asd there naked, holding a sundress.In the cover of the trees, I dropped the noisome pile and shifted back to human. I shook the clothes out, snapping them against a tree to beat some of the smell from them. They were definitely guys clothes tan gasp and a white entirelyton- trim down shirt. Neither of them long enough, yet they looked handle theyd fit or so me. Must be Emmetts. I trilled the cuffs up on the shirtsleeves, but there wasnt practically I could do more or less(prenominal) the pants. Oh well.I had to admit, I felt pause with some clothes to my name, charge stinky ones that didnt quite fit. It was hard non being fit to save jet back home and grab an otherwise p impart of old sweatpants when I needed them. The stateless thing again not having whatsoeverplace to go back to. No possessions, either, which wasnt bothering me too bad now, but would plausibly explicate annoying soon.Exhausted, I walked slowly up the Cullens porch steps in my fancy wise secondhand clothes but hesitated when I got to the entry. Did I knock? Stupid, when they knew I was here. I wondered why no one adjudge that toldme either to come in or get lost W detestver. I shrugged and permit myself in.More changes. The room had shifted back to standard almost in the last twenty minutes. The gigantic flat-screen was on, low volume, showing some dame flick that no one seemed to be reckoning. Carlisle and Esme stood by the back windows, which were open(a) to the river again. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were out of sight, but I heard them murmuring upstairs. Bella was on the vagabond wish well yester daylight, with in force(p) one tube unchanging hooked into her, and an IV hanging behind the back of the sofa. She was absorbed up like a burrito in a couple of thick quilts, so at least theyd listened to me forward. Rosalie was cross-legged on the ground by her head. Edward sat at the other end of the couch with Bellas burritoed feet in his lap. He looked up when I came in and smiled at me s cleartily a small- headwayed twitch of his mouth like something pleased him.Bella didnt hear me. She tho glanced up when he did, and thusly she smiled, too. With received energy, her whole vitrine lighting up. I couldnt take to be the last time shed looked so excited to see me.What was with her? For crying out loud, she was married Happily married, too there was no question that she was in love with her vampire past(a) the boundaries of sanity. And hugely pregnant, to outperform it sour.So why did she have to be so damn thrilled to see me? Like Id made her whole freakin day by walking by dint of the door.If she would just not care Or more than that really not want me around. It would be so much easier to stay a route.Edward seemed to be in agreement with my thoughts we were on the same wavelength so much lately it was crazy. He was frowning now, reading her face composition she bea med at me.They just treasured to talk, I mumbled, my voice dragging with exhaustion. No attack on the horizon.Yes, Edward answered. I heard most of it.That woke me up a subaltern. Wed been a good three miles out. How?Tm hearing you more distinctly its a matter of familiarity and concentration. Also, your thoughts are slightly easier to pick up when youre in your human formulate. So I caught most of what passed out there.Oh. It tease me a petty(a), but for no good reason, so I shrugged it off. Good. I hate repeating myself.Id tell you to go get some subduedness, Bella express, but my at peace(predicate) reckoning is that youre qualifying to pass out on the floor in close six seconds, so theres probably no point.It was amazing how much wear out she sounded, how much stronger she looked. I smelled fresh blood and apothegm that the cup was in her hands again. How much blood would it impress to keep her going? At some point, would they start trotting in the neighbors?I h eaded for the door, counting off the seconds for her as I walked. One Mississippi deuce MississippiWheres the flood, mutt? Rosalie muttered.You roll in the hay how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? I asked without stopping or turning to look at her. Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.I heard Edward chuckle as I pulled the door shut. His mood seemed to amend in exact correlation to Bellashealth.Ive already heard that one,7Rosalie called after me.I trudged down the steps, my only goal to drag myself far enough into the trees that the air would be pure again. I planned to ditch the clothes a convenient distance from the house for future use rather than ligature them to my leg, so I wouldnt be smelling them, either. As I fumbled with the buttons on the new shirt, I thought randomly well-nigh how buttons would never be in style for werewolves.I heard the voices time I slogged crossways the lawn.Where are you going? Bella asked.There was something I forgot to say to him.Let Jacob cat s leep it can wait.Yes, please, let Jacob sleep.It will only take a moment.I turned slowly. Edward was already out the door. He had an apology in his cheek as he approached me.Jeez, what now?Tm sorry, he express, and whence he hesitated, like he didnt write out how to phrase what he was thinking.Whats on your estimate, mind reader?When you were speaking to Sams delegates earlier, he murmured, I was giving a play-by-play for Carlisle and Esme and the rest. They were refer Look, were not dropping our guard. You dont have to believe Sam like we do. Were retentivity our look open regardless.No, no, Jacob. Not about that. We trust your judgment. Rather, Esme was troubled by the hardships this is putting your pack through. She asked me to speak to you privately about it.That took me off guard. Hardships?The homeless part, particularly. Shes very upset that you are all so bereft.I snorted. Vampire mother hen bizarre. Were tough. Tell her not to worry.Shed still like to do what she can. I got the impression that Leah prefers not to eat in her wolf form?And? I demanded.Well, we do have normal human solid food here, Jacob. holding up appearances, and, of course, for Bella. Leah is welcome to anything shed like. All of you are.Ill pass that along.Leah hates us.So?So bear witness to pass it along in such a way as to make her consider it, if you dont mind.Ill do what I can.And thence theres the matter of clothes.I glanced down at the ones I was have a bun in the ovening. Oh yeah. thanks. It probably wouldnt be good discretion to mention how bad they reeked.He smiled, just a short. Well, were easily able to help out with any needs there. Alice rarely allows us to wear the same thing twice. Weve got piles of brand-new clothes that are designate for Goodwill, and Id imagine that Leah is fairly close to Esmes size___Not sure how shell heart about bloodsucker castoffs. Shes not as practical as I am.I trust that you can present the offer in the best assertable l ight. As well as the offer for any other somatogenetic object you king need, or transportation, or anything else at all. And showers, too, since you prefer to sleep outdoors. Please dont consider yourselves without the benefits of a home.He give tongue to the last railroad line softly not trying to keep quiet this time, but with some kind of real emotion.I stared at him for a second, blinking sleepily. Thats, er, nice of you. Tell Esme we appreciate the, uh, thought. But the perimeter cuts through the river in a few places, so we stay attractive clean, thanks.If you would pass the offer on, regardless.Sure, sure.thank you.I turned absent from him, only to stop cold when I heard the low, pained cry from inside the house. By the time I looked back, he was already gone.What now?I fareed after him, shuffling like a zombie. Using about the same number of brain cells, too. It didnt timbre like I had a choice. Something was wrong. I would go see what it was. There would be nothing I could do. And I would feel worse.It seemed inevitable.I let myself in again. Bella was panting, curled over the bulge in the center of her body. Rosalie held her while Edward, Carlisle, and Esme all hovered. A flicker of motion caught my eye Alice was at the top of the stairs, staring down into the room with her hands pressed to her temples. It was weird like she was barred from entering somehow.Give me a second, Carlisle, Bella panted.Bella, the doctor said anxiously, I heard something crack. I need to take a look.Pretty sure pant it was a rib. Ow. Yep. Right here. She pointed to her left(a) side, careful not to touch.It was good luck her bones now.I need to take an X-ray. There might be splinters. We dont want it to puncture anything.Bella took a deep breath. Okay.Rosalie lifted Bella carefully. Edward seemed like he was going to argue, but Rosalie bared her teeth at him and growled, Ive already got her.So Bella was stronger now, but the thing was, too. You couldnt starve one without starving the other, andhealing worked just the same. No way to win.Blondie carried Bella swiftly up the big staircase with Carlisle and Edward dear on her heels, none of them taking any notice of me standing dumbstruck in the doorway.So they had a blood bank and an X-ray machine? venture the doc brought his work home with him.I was too tired to follow them, too tired to move. I leaned back against the wall and then slid to the ground. The door was still open, and I pointed my nose toward it, grateful for the clean breeze blowing in. I leaned my head against the jamb and listened.I could hear the sound of the X-ray machinery upstairs. Or possibly I just assumed thats what it was. And then the lightest of footsteps glide slope down the stairs. I didnt look to see which vampire it was.Do you want a repose? Alice asked me.No, I mumbled. What was with the pushy hospitality? It was creeping me out.That doesnt look comfortable, she observed.Snot.Why dont you move, then?Tir ed. Why arent you upstairs with the rest of them? I shot back.Headache, she answered.I rolled my head around to look at her.Alice was a tiny little thing. passage of arms the size of one of my arms. She looked even smaller now, sort of crooked in on herself. Her small face was pinched.Vampires get headaches?Not the normal ones.I snorted. Normal vampires.So how come youre never with Bella anymore? I asked, making the question an accusation. It hadnt occurred to me before, because my head had been full of other crap, but it was weird that Alice was never around Bella, not since Id been here. Maybe if Alice were by her side, Rosalie wouldnt be. Thought you both were like this. I twisted two of my fingers together.Like I said she curled up on the tile a few feet from me, wrap up her skinny arms around her skinny knees headache.Bellas giving you a headache? Yes.I frowned. Pretty sure I was too tired for riddles. I let my head roll back around toward the fresh air and closed my eyes .Not Bella, really, she amended. The foetus.Ah, someone else who felt like I did. It was pretty easy to recognize. She said the word grudgingly, the way Edward did.I cant see it, she told me, though she might have been talking to herself. For all she knew, I was already gone. I cant see anything about it. Just like you.I flinched, and then my teeth ground together. I didnt like being compared to the creature.Bella gets in the way. Shes all wrapped around it, so shes blurry. Like bad reception on a TV like trying to focus your eyes on those woolly people jerking around on the screen. Its killing my head to watchher. And I cant see more than a few minutes ahead, anyway. The fetus is too much a part of her future. When she first stubborn when she knew she wanted it, she blurred right out of my sight. Scared me to death.She was quiet for a second, and then she added, I have to admit, its a relief having you close by in spite of the wet-dog smell. Everything goes away. Like having my eyes closed. It numbs the headache.Happy to be of service, maam, I mumbled.I wonder what it has in common with you why youre the same that way.Sudden set off flashed in the center of my bones. I clenched my fists to hold off the tremors.I have nothing in common with that life-sucker, I said through my teeth.Well, theres something there.I didnt answer. The heat was already burning away. I was too dead tired to stay furious.You dont mind if I sit here by you, do you? she asked.Guess not. Stinks anyway.Thanks, she said. This is the best thing for it, I guess, since I cant take aspirin.Could you keep it down? Sleeping, here.She didnt respond, immediately lapsing into silence. I was out in seconds.I was dreaming that I was really thirsty. And there was a big glass of water in front of me all cold, you could see the capsule running down the sides. I grabbed the cup and took a huge gulp, only to find out pretty quick that it wasnt water it was straight bleach. I choked it back out, sp ewing it everywhere, and a bunch of it blew out of my nose. It burned. My nose was on fire.The pain in my nose woke me up enough to remember where Id fallen asleep. The smell was pretty fierce, considering that my nose wasnt actually inside the house. Ugh. And it was noisy. somebody was laughing too loud. A familiar laugh, but one that didnt go with the smell. Didnt belong.I groaned and opened my eyes. The skies were dull gray it was daytime, but no cue stick as to when. Maybe close to sunset it was pretty dark.About time, Blondie mumbled from not too far away. The chainsaw impersonation was getting a little tired.I rolled over and wrenched myself into a sitting position. In the process, I figured out where the smell was coming from. Someone had stuffed a full feather pillow under my face. Probably trying to be nice, Id guess. Unless itd been Rosalie. at one time my face was out of the stinking feathers, I caught other scents. Like bacon and cinnamon, all mixed up with the vampi re smell.I blinked, taking in the room.Things hadnt changed too much, except that now Bella was sitting up in the middle of the sofa, and the IV was gone. Blondie sat at her feet, her head resting against Bellas knees. Still gave me chills to see how casually they stirred her, though I guess that was pretty brain-dead, all things considered. Edward was on one side of her, holding her hand. Alice was on the floor, too, like Rosalie. Her face wasnt pinched up now. And it was easy to see why shed found another painkiller.Hey, Jakes coming around exercise set crowed.He was sitting on Bellas other side, his arm slung incautiously over her shoulders, an overflowing plate of food on his lap.What the hell?He came to find you, Edward said while I got to my feet. And Esme convinced him to stay for go badfast.Seth took in my expression, and he hurried to explain. Yeah, Jake I was just checking to see if you were hunky-dory cause you didnt ever phase back. Leah got worried. I told her yo u probably just crashed human, but you go to bed how she is. Anyway, they had all this food and, dang, he turned to Edward man, you can cookThank you, Edward murmured.I inhaled slowly, trying to unclench my teeth. I couldnt take my eyes off Seths arm.Bella got cold, Edward said quietly.Right. None of my business, anyway. She didnt belong to me.Seth heard Edwards comment, looked at my face, and suddenly he needed both hands to eat with. He took his arm off Bella and dug in. i walked over to stand a few feet from the couch, still trying to get my bearings.Leah running patrol? I asked Seth. My voice was still thick with sleep.Yeah, he said as he chewed. Seth had new clothes on, too. They fit him better than mine fit me. Shes on it. No worries. Shell howl if theres anything. We traded off around midnight. I ran twelve hours. He was sublime of that, and it showed in his tone.Midnight? Wait a minute what time is it now?Bout dawn. He glanced toward the window, checking.Well, damn. Id slept through the rest of the day and the whole night dropped the ball. Crap. disconsolate about that, Seth. Really. You shoulda kicked me awake.Naw, man, you needed some serious sleep. You havent taken a break since when? Night before your last patrol for Sam? Like forty hours? Fifty? Youre not a machine, Jake. Sides, you didnt miss anything at all.Nothing at all? I glanced quickly at Bella. Her color was back to the way I remembered it. Pale, but with the rose undertone. Her lips were pink again. Even her hair looked better shinier. She saw me appraising and gave me a qrin.Hows the rib? I asked.Taped up nice and tight, i dont even feel it.7I rolled my eyes. I heard Edward grind his teeth together, and I figured her blow-it-off attitude bugged him as much at it bugged me.Whats for breakfast? I asked, a little sarcastic. O negative or AB positive?She stuck her knife out at me. Totally herself again. Omelets, she said, but her eyes darted down, and I saw that her cup of blood was wedged between her leg and Edwards.Go get some breakfast, Jake, Seth said. Theres a bunch in the kitchen. Youve got to be empty.I examined the food in his lap. Looked like half a cheese omelet and the last fourth of a Frisbee-sized cinnamon roll. My stomach growled, but I ignored it.Whats Leah having for breakfast? I asked Seth critically.Hey, I took food to her before I ate anything he defended himself. She said shed rather eat roadkill, but I bet she caves. These cinnamon rolls He seemed at a exit for words.Til go hunt with her, then.Seth sighed as I turned to leave.A moment, Jacob?It was Carlisle asking, so when I turned around again, my face was probably less disrespectful than it would have been if anyone else had stopped me.Yeah?Carlisle approached me while Esme drifted off toward the other room. He stopped a few feet away, just a little bit farther away than the normal space between two humans having a conversation. I appreciated him giving me my space.Speaking of hunting, he began in a somber tone. Thats going to be an issue for my family. I understand that our previous truce is inoperative at the moment, so I wanted your advice. Will Sam be hunting for us extraneous of the perimeter youve created? We dont want to take a chance with hurting any of your family or losing any of ours. If you were in our shoes, how would you proceed?I leaned away, a little surprised, when he threw it back at me like that. What would I live on about being in a bloodsuckers expensive shoes? But, then again, I did know Sam.Its a risk, I said, trying to ignore the other eyes I felt on me and to talk only to him. Sams calmeddown some, but Im pretty sure that in his head, the treaty is void. As long as he thinks the tribe, or any other human, is in real danger, hes not going to ask questions first, if you know what I mean. But, with all that, his priority is going to be La Push. There really arent enough of them to keep a decent watch on the people while putting out huntin g parties big enough to do much damage. Id bet hes tutelage it close to home.Carlisle nodded thoughtfully.So I guess Id say, go out together, just in case. And probably you should go in the day, cause wed beexpecting night. Traditional vampire stuff. Youre fast go over the mountains and hunt far enough away that theres no chance hed send anyone that far from home.And leave Bella behind, unprotected?I snorted. What are we, chopped liver?Carlisle laughed, and then his face was serious again. Jacob, you cant beseech against your brothers.My eyes tightened. Im not saying it wouldnt be hard, but if they were really coming to kill her I would be able to stop them.Carlisle shook his head, anxious. No, I didnt mean that you would be incapable. But that it would be very wrong. I cant have that on my conscience.It wouldnt be on yours, Doc. It would be on mine. And I can take it.No, Jacob. We will make sure that our actions dont make that a necessity. He frowned thoughtfully Well go three at a time, he decided after a second. Thats probably the best we can do.I dont know, Doc. Dividing down the middle isnt the best strategy.Weve got some extra abilities that will even it up. If Edward is one of the three, hell be able to give us a few miles r of safety.We both glanced at Edward. His expression had Carlisle backtracking quickly.Im sure there are other ways, too, Carlisle said. Clearly, there was no physical need strong enough to get Edward away from Bella now. Alice, I would imagine you could see which routes would be a slew?The ones that disappear, Alice said, nodding. Easy.Edward, who had gone all tense with Carlisles first plan, loosened up. Bella was staring woefully at Alice, that little crease between her eyes that she got when she was stressed out.Okay, then, I said. Thats settled. Ill just be on my way. Seth, Ill expect you back on at dusk, so get a nap in there somewhere, all right?Sure, Jake. Ill phase back soon as Im done. Unless he hesitated, flavour a t Bella. Do you need me?Shes got blankets, I snapped at him.Im fine, Seth, thanks, Bella said quickly.And then Esme flitted back in the room, a big covered dish in her hands. She stopped hesitantly just behind Carlisles elbow, her wide, dark gold eyes on my face. She held the dish out and took a shy step closer.Jacob, she said quietly. Her voice wasnt quite so piercing as the others. I know its unappetizing to you, the idea of eating here, where it smells so unpleasant. But I would feel much better if you would take some food with you when you go. I know you cant go home, and thats because of us. Please ease some of my remorse. Take something to eat. She held the food out to me, her face all soft and pleading. I dont know how she did it, because she didnt look sometime(a) than her mid-twenties, and she was bone pale, too, but something about her expression suddenly reminded me of my mom.Jeez.Uh, sure, sure, I mumbled. I guess. Maybe Leahs still hungry or something.I reached out an d took the food with one hand, holding it away, at arms length. Id go dump it under a tree or something. I didnt want her to feel bad.Then I remembered Edward.Dont you say anything to her Let her think I ate it.I didnt look at him to see if he was in agreement. Hed better be in agreement. Bloodsucker owed me.Thank you, Jacob, Esme said, smiling at me. How did a stone face have dimples, for crying out loud?Urn, thank you, I said. My face felt hot hotter than usual.This was the problem with hanging out with vampires you got used to them. They started messing up the way you saw the world. They started feeling like friends.Will you come back later, Jake? Bella asked as I tried to make a run for it.Uh, I dont know.She pressed her lips together, like she was trying not to smile. Please? I might get cold.I inhaled deeply through my nose, and then realized, too late, that that was not a good idea. I winced. Maybe.Jacob? Esme asked. I backed toward the door as she continued she took a few steps after me. I left a basket of clothes on the porch. Theyre for Leah. Theyre freshly washed I tried to touch them as little as possible. She frowned. Do you mind taking them to her?On it, I muttered, and then I ducked out the door before anyone could guilt me into anything else.